If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
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