There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
