Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
