I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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