after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
