i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
