I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
someone owes me an orgasm
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
