It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
