Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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