um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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