my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
