and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
