I want to make a zoo with you.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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