Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
