look no pants
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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