I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
