She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
