Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
