The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
