Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
