Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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