Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
