the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
