Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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