we have officially lost it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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