Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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