she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
