That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
