He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
