I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
why do cheetos always look like penises
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
