So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
