508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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