You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Less talking, more tequila
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
