well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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