there's paper in my vomit.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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