If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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