dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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