When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
