I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i think i just lost a toe
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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