no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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