My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
