There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
