Moan for me like Helen Keller
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
