There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
