i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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