Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
