Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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