I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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