I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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