I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
