She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
