Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
