I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
