My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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