I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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